Living Transitions

Family agreements on moving transitions

Most people want to age in place in their home. This is the best situation as long as the home is aging friendly and your health permits you to stay in your home safely. Problems occur once you are no longer safe in your home and fail to admit or recognize that there is an issue.

To avoid a disaster, create a "family agreement" stating when you will move to accommodations appropriate for your situation. While you are well, share this agreement with everyone in your family, your medical providers, and anyone who could potentially have input on your living situation.

A common saying in sports is "perfect practice makes perfect". Review your agreement yearly, as this will help you "practice" following through when the triggers are hit to make a move.

A family agreement can be short and to the point. It should come from the heart and be in your own words. Following are components of a family agreement in regards tmoving transitions.

• List of health situations that will warrant a move:
• Mobility issues such as need for use of a wheelchair
• Serious chronic health conditions that require regular monitoring such as severe heart or lung disease
• Moderate to significant dementia or related severe memory loss
• Other factors that may warrant a move:
• Inability to hire people to clean or perform home maintenance
• Lack of transportation to needed services
• Loss of social support that results in isolation
• Arrangements on a new living situation:
• Moving in with other family members
• Family member moving in with you
• Moving to assisted living or a continuing care retirement community

Once you create the agreement, sign and date it, and share it with all your family members. Encourage their feedback and buy-in on the plan.

Sample Family Agreement

I realize at some point I may no longer be able to live in my current home. The following situations will be a trigger that it is time for me to move to a more appropriate environment for my situation.

• When I am no longer mobile and require the use of a wheelchair.
• When I am diagnosed with dementia and my family determines it is no longer safe for me to live at home.
• When I am no longer able to manage the people who keep up my home.

Once it is determined that I need to move to a different environment, and if my medical problems are not severe enough to require care in a facility, I plan to move in with my son and his wife. We have agreed that I will pay rent of $1,000 per month. Once they feel that my care needs surpass their ability, I will move into an assisted living facility nearby.

We have investigated possible assisted living facilities and I have put my name on the waiting list for one near my son's home. Once I become eligible, we will determine if I will move or will just stay on the waiting list for the home.

We will review this document yearly and update it as needed.